Church Jokes - You. Tube. Publikov. 2. Another classic reel for my youtube family feat Bruce Bruce Ms. Laugh at our huge collection of best comebacks and funny insults. We did our best to bring you only the funniest insults and best comebacks. You will definitely laugh. THE FUNNIEST INTERNET PICTURES OF 2013. This is the kind of stupid stuff that kept us laughing last year. Follow @WarpedNetwork. Latest UK news, breaking news and current news, plus celebrity news and weird news from Dailystar.co.uk all the breaking stories. ![]() Laura Hayes, Arnez J, Chocolate, L. C., Nephew Tommy, Tony Roberts, Terry Hodges, T. P. Hearn, J Anthony Brown and G- Rocc , enjoy... Warning there is some explicit language In here so If your easily offended, don't watch!!! Check me out on twitter @comedycrock- pot. Some of the funniest Crackhead Jokes I edited and clipped together feat Eric Blake, Bruce Bruce Shawty, Mike Bonner, Harris Stanton, Kenny Williams, D'Jon. The Collected Wisdom of Chris Rock. Writer. He appeared on both Saturday Night Live and In Living Color. He created a hit sitcom. He used to host a late- night show, for which he won an Emmy, and he’s currently producing a new one.
For over 2. 5 years, he has remained one of the most critically and commercially successful standup comics, and he even hosted the Oscars. Chris Rock has conquered every comedic arena that exists, so believe us when we say: he’s really good at what he does. And what he does is say funny things. Here’s a giant pile of funny and/or smart things he’s said over the years, organized by topic: Abortion. Oh the abortion issue, it’s a woman’s issue. When a woman get pregnant, she don’t want to hear shit from the man. When a woman get pregnant, her and her girlfriends form an abortion tribunal, and they vote on the child like it was Survivor. Then the first girlfriend throws in her two cents: . That man got some good hair. It’s wavy, it’s wavy.’ Then second girlfriend throws in her two cents: ? Ain’t we supposed to go to Cancun next weekend? Get rid of that baby. Even if you get hit by a truck, it’s natural causes. Some diseases they just gave up on. Some diseases, if you get them, you’re on your own. They ain’t going to have no telethon for you. R Kelly ain’t singing no song. You just got this shit. I know that ain’t that black here . Barack, man, he don’t let his blackness sneak up on you. Y’know, if his name was . But as soon as you hear ! Just standing on top of a dead lion! Lovin’ him for twenty years. I love the Flavor of Love show; I think it’s quite entertaining. But Flavor Flav must be killed. In order for black people to truly reach the promised land, Flavor Flav has to be shot. These are important times! We got a black man running for President! We don’t need a nigga running around with a fucking clock around his neck and a Viking hat on his head! Nigga, put a suit on!’ . Crack is destroying the ghetto.’ Like the ghetto was so nice before crack. They say that shit like everybody in the . If you’re up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1. You can furnish your whole house for $1. Just to spice things up. Only fans should be allowed to criticize. When I hear somebody go, . Only a fan of Travis Tritt can say the record . Same thing with jokes. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. What tricks does this guy have? That’s called living in the projects! I remember I used to see Christian Slater movies all the time. One day they just stopped making ’em. No one passes you a note. I remember having Jimmie Walker hats when I was a kid, lunch box, shirt, loose- leaf ? You think, Oh, I haven’t worked in six months, I’ll get a job next week. Oh, I haven’t worked in a year, now I got to really. It’s like finding out somebody cheated on you. Somebody tells you, you overhear it at the fucking coffee shop? Don’t eat no red meat? No, don’t eat no green meat. If you lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the shit out of it! You think anyone in Rwanda’s got a fucking lactose intolerance? Marriage is sacred, it’s sacred. No, it’s not, not in America, not in a country that watches Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Get the fuck outta here. Shit, Michael Jackson got married, how fucking sacred is that shit? Bush. Hey, man don’t let all this celebrity garbage fool you. It’s all just a trick to get your mind. I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe’s room. Bush sent that girl to Kobe’s room, Bush sent that little boy to Michael Jackson’s house. Bush killed Laci Peterson. Bush was fucking Paris Hilton in that video. All to get your mind off the war. Bush lied to me, they all lied to me: . They’re the most dangerous regime in the world.’ If they’re so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country? Man, you couldn’t take over Baltimore in two weeks. A black C student can’t be a manager at Burger King. The Aries Spears Channel . His quick wit, charisma, and ferociously aggressive style of comedy have earned him critical acclaim, high accolades, and above all, a busy schedule. From being a regular on Fox’s MADtv, starring in feature films, appearing on a number of national talk shows, and continually touring the country with his stand up, Spears’ talents are becoming recognized and appreciated throughout the entertainment industry. As a principal cast member on Fox’s hit sketch comedy show MADtv, Spears brought a fresh, hip style to the already edgy program from the third through the 1. The producers made full use of many of Spears' talents by calling on him frequently, to create new hilarious characters and write sketches. Some of the many recurring characters that Spears is famous for on the show include Belma Buttons, Bill Cosby, Jesse Jackson, Mike Tyson, Walter, who is a crackhead, Reggie from the Erascists, Dollar Bill Montgomery, Shaquille O'Neal, the Klumps, Michael Jackson, Sisqo, Evander Holyfield, El Diablo Negro, and more. Spears also boasts a number of uproarious impersonations on the show that include James Brown, Al Pacino, and his childhood idol, Eddie Murphy. The Spears branded sketch “Talkin’ American” was MADtv's most popular bit, keeping fans tuned in and boosting its ratings impressively on Saturday night. Spears has also found great success in the world of feature films. At the age of 1. 7, after being spotted in a comedy club, Spears landed a part in the movie Home of Angels, which also starred Abe Vigoda and Sherman Helmsley, but never saw a theatrical release. He then appeared in Out- of- Sync, and portrayed Red Foxx in Warner Bros.’ Why Do Fools Fall in Love. In addition, Spears starred alongside John Leguizamo in Tri. Star’s The Pest, and delivered his most notable performance to date as Cuba Gooding Jr.’s brother in Columbia’s blockbuster hit Jerry Maguire. Spears was born on April 3, 1. Chicago but grew up in New Jersey. He remembers at the young age of six being the funnyman of the household, and impersonating family members at the dinner table during holidays. By age 1. 4, Spears was belting out his fresh stylings in front of paying audiences at local clubs around his hometown. Shortly thereafter, he appeared on Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam on HBO and Showtime at the Apollo. The word was out about the prodigal superstar from then on, and in 1. Spears moved to Los Angeles. He quickly landed a recurring role on NBC’s A Different World and was signed to a huge development deal at one of the major television studios. The following year, Spears found himself starring in the short- lived CBS series South of Sunset, with former Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey. Although the series didn’t last long, it did not discourage other networks from tapping Spears' talents for their projects, as he soon appeared in Crosstown Traffic and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. Ultimately, Spears' fierce momentum landed him on MADtv as a series regular, where he thrived for eight seasons. Spears continues to spread his comedic wings with the development of feature film projects, which he is currently involved in writing. He is presently developing a feature project based on an original character that he created on MADtv, as well as a thriller about a young black man immersed in hip- hop culture. Additionally, Spears has made appearances on many talk shows, including Loveline, Vibe, The Keenen Ivory Wayans Show, Soul Train, and Late Friday. He has also lent his voice to an animated character on C- Bear and Jamal and had a recurring stint on Fox’s The Best Damn Sports Show Period, where he created some of the show’s funniest characters during his short time there. Spears maintains a strong connection to his African roots and is involved in many charitable events, including a number of organizations that help abused women. He feels blessed to have been able to achieve everything that he has, but he in no way intends on stopping there.
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